Satisfied Through Submission...

The Return...

2006-11-14T08:51:17Z

Wow, it's been a while since I posted in this journal, but I'm back and that's all that matters. Right?

Anyway, I think I've made the decision that I want to become completely submissive to JD, not only sexually, but in our daily lives. I think I want to live a completely D/s lifestyle. I've given it much thought over the last couple of weeks and I've decided that it is really what I want.

I haven't talked to him about it, but I'm pretty confident he's going to agree with me. I hope so anyway...

I really am a traditional kind of girl. I believe the man should control the money and be the final say on decisons (with her input taken into concideration). I believe a woman should have no qualms about "serving her man", in virtually every way.

I know I will have things I struggle with in this decision. I am, by nature, a bossy, independant, and stubborn person. I think that's partly why it will be good for me and for our relationship for me to become completely submissive. Anyway, I know I'll struggle with little things - like sometimes when he wants a backrub I really don't want to do it. Or just plain sometimes I will feel like, "who the hell is he asking me to do things?!"

It will be a journey and a real learning experience to submit myself to him wholly, but I believe I'm ready.

This journal will be my place to ponder and explore. I'll still post stories and fantasies here, but I'll also use it to examine feelings, events, and thoughts throughout this process.

A lot of people online who write about D/s relationships when blogging capitalize their master's names (for example, "My master's name is JD. I serve Him in every way, and He is my true love.") I choose not to do this in this journal. For one, I cannot stand it grammatically. It just plain annoys me. Secondly, I tend to think of he capitalized in that way in a religious way and that just doesn't work for me. Just letting you know now.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy living it. ^_^

Finally Another Story...

2005-09-20T23:55:04Z

I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to post another story, but I don't think anyone actually reads this anyway...

Finally I've got a story and it's a long one. Today is my Master's birthday, so as a gift to him I wrote out the beginning of my most favorite fantasy. This is only the beginning, so expect for this to be continued and elaborated upon in future entries. Now, onto the story. Hope you enjoy it.

A Slave's Manifesto
By Roxie F. Prince
September 18, 2005

The day of my collaring -

I anticipate this day to the fullest. You, My Lord, shall come to me and just by the look in your eyes I will know. My heart will beat quickly and I'll flush red and bat my eyes at you nervously.

"Down on your knees," you will say cooly to me while standing in front of me, the look in your eye one of power and pure love. Obediently I will come down onto my knees and kneel before you as my Master.

Then, to my delight, you will reveal my collar - the ultimate symbol of submission and devotion. The silver glitters in the light, reflecting off of my wide eyes. You look down upon me, the both of us smiling.

You put your hand beneath my chin and lift my face so that I am gazing up at you, as your loyal subject. You lean down and kiss me lightly on my forehead and then walk behind me, wrap the collar around my neck, screwing the screw tightly in and sealing your ownership of me. With the final turn of the wrench I am owned. I am thereby made yours, to serve and pleasure you as my husband and my love.

A day of service as well as a lesson -

As your lady my pleasure is to obey your every whim, on a single breath.

We awake in the morning, and immediately you need my services. Under the covers your hand caresses my breasts, squeezing and pinching my nipples, making the first sound I utter in the sunlight a deep sensual moan. After you've succeeded at erecting my nipples, your hand slides down my stomach, raising goose-bumps along my warm skin. Your fingers trace my belly button, as if you're blind and you see my form through their tips. My back arches with impending desire for your touch and your taste.

Finally, your hand makes it's way down to my pussy and immediately I am glad I neglected to wear underwear. I am already soaked for you, awaiting for your entry. You take your time, feeling every inch of my womanhood - every mound, every crevice.

Slowly, you circle my clit with your index finger, pressing hard, so I can feel every line of its print on my tender, swollen flesh. When you notice that my breath has quickened, you plunge two fingers inside of me, deeply, and hit just the spot. You know the one. The one that makes me convulse and moan. You press hard and rub quickly. I raise my bare ass off the of the sheets and just then you bend your fingers, hooking me, reminding me that you're in control of my every movement and my every pleasure.

"Your mouth. Now," is all you udder into my ear as I pant from excitement. You know how much I adore the feeling of your cock in my mouth and how delicious I find your come, so this is a wonderful treat.

I smile and with wide anticipating eyes, like a child on Christmas morning, I dive beneath the covers to see you hard, waiting for me. It's hot under there, almost stifling, but I don't care. All I can think about is tasting you and serving you. I want so much to be a wonderful slave for you.

I decide to start out slow, so I take in your head only, rubbing the middle of my tongue on the underside. I feel you throb in my mouth, my lips wrapped airtight around, and that's when you decide you don't want it slow. Your hand comes out of nowhere, grips my hair, and forces me down onto you, making me take it deep. It happens so fast I gag and you chuckle.

"Yes, girl. Gag on me," you say as you start to move my head up and down fiercely on you. You have no time before work to dawdle, I should have known this. You continue to fuck my face, every once in a while going too far testing my gag reflex. You're moving my head so forcefully that it takes all my strength to keep me from falling over.

Just when I think you're ready to honor me with your hot come, you pull me up and tell me to ride you. As I'm climbing on top of you, once again breathing the cool air of the bedroom, you grab my tender clit and twist, sending waves of both pain and pleasure shooting through me.

"Now, you are to ride me until I finish, but you are NOT allowed to come. You will only come when I tell you you can. Now, acknowledge that you understand my wishes."

"I do."

"You do what?"

"I do, Master."

"Now go."

Your strength and power turns me on so much. You enter me, pushing deep inside me, pressing against my walls, my juices flowing and dripping down your cock and moistening your groin.

The throbbing of your cock inside me is enough to get me to orgasm, and it's so hard to hold back from exploding. I start to slow down in hopes of relieving the heat, but you slap my right breast and tell me to keep going. I know then that it's hopeless. Before you even come I erupt into orgasm, screaming in pleasure. My walls tighten and release and you come a few moments later.

When I finally open my eyes I see that you're not happy with me and immediately the guilt hurts. I know that I've disappointed you and that I've failed you as a slave already. The tears well in my eyes and you see my humiliation.

You roll me over gently, kiss me deeply on my lips, and wipe my tears away. You smile sweetly at me and say, "Baby girl, you didn't follow my orders. Tonight will be your punishment. I am not mad at you, so don't fret, but you have to learn how to serve me. Do you understand?"

"Yes... But what is my punishment?"

"That, you will learn tonight. Now go cook me breakfast beautiful."

I smile and roll over out of the bed and reach for my robe. I'm already anticipating what my punishment will be. When you see me reaching for my robe you stop me, "No, I want you to cook me breakfast naked."

"But it's chilly in here!"

"Do as your Master commands," you roll out of bed and give me a firm smack on the ass. I speed away into the kitchen to make your breakfast.

Eggs, bacon, toast, and juice. All while naked. We eat together and you looks so hansome in your crisp, clean clothes that I can already feel myself getting wet for you again, but there is no time.

After you finish your meal you grab your keys and head for the door. I follow after you to give you your goodbye kiss. Sweetly our lips touch and your surprise me with a quick and forceful slip of a finger into my wet pussy.

"Hmm... You'd better be even wetter when I come home this evening. And just as naked," and you leave leaving me breathless and excited with a little bit of nervousness thrown on top.

What will my punishment be? I wonder all day, as I'm pulling on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt to start my day, as I'm cleaning the kitchen, scrubbing the bathtub, and doing the laundry. I can't stop thinking about it all day long, my pussy just getting more and more tender as each hour passes. Finally, as I'm cooking dinner I am so hot that I can barely walk without giving myself an orgasm.

You enter just as I'm putting the dishes onto the table and just as you wanted I am just as naked as I was when you left. You walk into the kitchen as I'm bent over getting you a beer from the fridge and you can't help but put a heavy hand to my ass cheek and a finger between my pussy lips.

"Good. Still wet," you say as you lick my wetness from your finger and sit down to your meal. I kiss you, open your beer, and sit across from you. We talk about your day and you explain the perils of your job to me while devouring the food I worked so hard on for you. I know in that aspect I have been a good slave. I have satisfied you in that aspect, and that is a great source of pride for me.

When dinner is finally done, you tell me to come to you wherein you take me by my collar and drag me into the living room where all the windows are open letting in the fresh evening air.

"Feet apart. Hands behind your neck. Chest out," you order me and begin positioning my legs exactly the width you desire, "Now, you aren't to remove your hands from that position nor are you to make a sound or move from that position until I tell you."

"Yes, Master."

This is when you bring forth a plastic bag I didn't notice you bring in. From it you pull a cat-o-nine tails, big, with a hard thick handle, and long leather fringe. My eyes widen and you see the fear on my face. This entices you. You walk behind me, reach your hand around, and pinch my nipple hard. Then the other. I jolt, but I don't remove my hands from my head.

A few moments pass where you do nothing but walk around me, inspecting me, drinking my body in with your eyes, until finally when you're behind me once again I feel the sting of the cat-o-nine tails against my back. Then my ass and back again. It hurts, but the pain is welcome and sweet. After a few moments of focusing on my back and ass you use a firm, hard hand to spank me, leaving throbbing red hand prints on its cheeks.

You then walk in front of me, look me in the eyes, and slap my breasts and stomach in one fail swoop with the cat. Through it all I've neither removed my hands nor unparted my legs. I can tell you're proud. Again I feel the kiss of the cat against my chest and belly. And again until my flesh is red and welted. The cool outside air flowing through the windows stings the tender skin.

You kiss my mouth, deep and hard and I feel your tongue searching my mouth, tasting me. In that same moment you grasp my collar by the front and pull me down. Hard.

"Bend over. Put your hands on the cushions of the couch, keep your legs separated, and present your ass to me. Once I'm there, I feel the sting again. And again alternated with smacks from your hand. The warmth soothes the pain.

Then, I feel you rubbing between my ass cheeks and over my pussy with the handle of the cat. I didn't realize how wet my cunt was until I felt the slickness of the handle. For a few minutes you rub the handle slowly over me, teasing me and occasionally inserting a finger into my asshole.

I adore that feeling and you know it. You sense how much pleasure I get from you playing with my ass, almost as much as I get from your touch elsewhere. Each time you insert the finger it gets deeper and harder. I can tell I'm about to get a good hard ass fucking, but I know not whether it will be from the handle or your cock. The anticipation is killer.

With your finger still in my asshole you thrust the handle of the cat into my pussy and pump in and out deep and hard. So deep that it hurts, but I know that's my punishment and I endure it. Not making a sound other than a muffled moan. You leave the handle deep inside my pussy while you remove your pants and boxers. Then I know, I'm going to get fucked double - both pussy and ass. Wow, I can't decide whether this is punishment or a reward!

While moving the head of your cock up and down my wet asshole you pump the handle in and out of me. Then slowly and painfully I feel your head enter my ass. I moan loudly cramming my face into the couch cushion.

"Now you can make noise for me. I want to hear how this punishment feels," you tell me as you continue to force your cock into the tightness of my ass. I moan loudly as I feel you enter me completely and your balls pressing against me. Still you move the handle in and out fucking me. With your other free hand you alternate between pulling my hair, slapping my already tender ass cheeks, and playing with my breasts.

God, the feel of your dick in such a taboo and new place throws me into an ecstasy I've never known. I can't help but scream in pain and pleasure. My pussy feels as it will explode and my body is tingling and feeling so much. I've never felt so alive. The sensations are so intense that it takes me only moments to reach orgasm and you feel me crossing that edge.

"Yes bitch, come for your Master..." you say as you thrust deep in my ass and moan loudly. Just as I'm exploding with come you bust inside my ass sending a deep sharp pain inside me, capping my orgasm off. I scream your name out as loud as I can, I'm sure the neighbors heard.

My legs are like Jello and you pull your now limping dick from my ass and the handle from my pussy. I fall to the floor and turn around so I am facing you. You're sweaty and red with nothing but a button up shirt on. I can't help but smile.

You lean down, kiss me, and say, "Clean this up for me, with your mouth," as you hand me the cat-o-nine tails and reach for your pants. I greedily lap up my own juices from the handle and you smile widely at me.

"I love you baby girl. You are learning nicely," you pull my mouth toward you by my collar and kiss me deeply. "Now I could use a massage."

I follow you to the bedroom where I rub your shoulders and back until you fall asleep soundly and snoring on the bed. That's when I get in the shower and the water stings my welts and I can't believe how lucky I am.

I love you JD.
Happy Birthday!

No, BITCH!

2005-07-26T08:45:16Z

I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately. I'm still here, just haven't been in the mood to write many stories as of late. I still owe Him one that I haven't written yet. It is going to be about my ultimate fantasy, wherein I am made his complete and total slave for pretty much everything not just the bedroom. It's going to be a good, raunchy story if I can ever get around to writing it.

I also have some good news I want need to post about here, but I'm too tired tonight to give it the detail it so deserves.

In the meantime, here's a quiz I did that is pretty obvious, but fun none the less.

Slave!
You are 19% Dominant and 73% Submissive!

Hit me harder sir! You know what you like. Lick the boots and taste the leather. You enjoy a heavy hand over you, telling you what to do. You live to serve.. and love it. Maybe if your score is high enough.. you enjoy a little blood? Masochism is the only way to be!

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 1% on Dominant
You scored higher than 99% on Submissive

Link: The Master or Slave? Test written by undue_influence on Ok Cupid

I promise I shall have another story here soon.

Sex Survey

2005-06-06T09:22:13Z

100 Questions: The DEFINITIVE SEX SURVEY

BASIC SHIT
1. What's your first name? Roxie
2. Male or female? Female
3. How old are you? 20
4. What country or state do you live in? Texas
5. Would you say you're straight, gay or bi? By definition I am bi-sexual because I am attracted to females, but don't see myself ever being in a relationship with one.

YOUR BODY
6. Describe what you look like: Look at the pics on my userinfo. That should do it.
7. Ok now guys, how big is it honestly? And girls, how many fingers can you fit? Three, possibly four.
8.
9. Blank spaces are odd... I guess this really isn't 100 questions then...
10.
11. What's your favorite body part on the other sex? Hair. Has to be the hair.
12. What's your favorite place on your body to be kissed? Lips. Neck is second.
13. Do you have any special names for your privates? Nothing special really.
14. Do you shave your pubic hair, trim, wax, have a racing strip, leave it natural or what? I shave it. Only because he prefers it that way. I actually kinda like it just trimmed. I usually leave a landing strip.

GETTING PERSONAL NOW
15. Do you masturbate? Yes.
16. How often do you masturbate? As much as I can really. Sir is an amazing thing.
17. How many people have you slept with? Two.
18. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 15
19. Whom did you lose it to? JD, my fiance.
21. Do you have any sexual regrets? Hmmm... No, not really. That I haven't had more?
22. Have you ever had sex with a virgin? Yes, indeed I have.
23. What's the biggest age difference between you and someone you've had sex with? Two years.
24. How often would you have sex in an ideal relationship? Every day.
25. And when was the last time you actually did have sex? ::sigh:: November...
26. When was the last time you had an orgasm? About an hour ago. ^_^ Sir is awesome.
27. Have you ever had a one night stand? Nah.
28. What sort of contraception do you normally use? Condoms. I've been on the pill, but it made me sick.
29. Have you ever had phone sex? Yep.
30. Have you ever had cyber sex? Kinda sorta I guess. Being in a long distance relationship makes that pretty common.
31. Have you ever devoted a whole day to sex? Yes, I have.
32. Lights on or off? Just depends really.
33. Do you prefer to give or receive oral sex? GIVE! I love head. Like almost more than sex.
34. Do you prefer oral sex or straightahead sex? I like penetration. Fucking is good.
35. Do you prefer giving/receiving blowjobs or hand jobs? Blowjobs definitely. Like I said I LOVE head.
36. Do you prefer eating/being eaten or fingering/being fingered? Fingering. I like deep penetration.
37. Girls, have you ever used your tits to get a guy off, or guys, have you ever had a girl use her tits to get you off? Um, I think they are kinda always used... o.0
38. What's your fav position? Depends. I like any position where he's in control.
39. What's the greatest number of positions you've used in one sex session? Heh, who the hell counts?
40. Do you like sex best rough, gentle, fast, slow, etc.? Hard, fast, and rough. The rougher the better.
41. Do you get turned on by pain? Yes, but not intense pain.
42. Have you ever tried anal sex? If so, did you like it? No, but I really want to. I look forward to it.
43. How do you feel about sex when you or your partner is on her period? Eh, I don't bleed very heavily usually... Still kinda uncomfortable, but that's what INSTEADS are for. (^_~)

ORGASMS AND CUM
44. Do you fake orgasms? Have you ever? I'm sure I probably have, but I don't remember when. I try not to do that and I've been lucky that I've never really had a reason to.
45. What's the greatest number of orgasms you have had together, or in one sex session? With another person - probably 8 or 9. By myself - in the teens.
47. What sort of orgasm do you normally have (do you moan, pant, gasp, scream or what)? A little bit of everything. I'm pretty damn vocal.
48. Spit or swallow? Swallow. Definitely. (^_^)
49. Girls, do you like the taste of cum, or guys, do you like the taste of pussy? Yep, I really enjoy the taste of come (I hate it spelled "cum"). I've never actually tasted another girl, but I like the taste of my own.
50. Have you ever tasted your own love juices (lol)? Yep, pretty much every time. Don't see why that's an "lol" question...

MOSTLY HAVE YOU EVERS
51. More blank spaces...
52. ::yawn::
53. Have you ever looked at porn magazines? Do you still? I have, but photos alone aren't very exciting...
54. Have you ever watched porn movies? Do you still? Yep. Haven't in quite a while though. Unless you count the ones I make myself.
55. Have you ever watched a live stripper? Nope.
56. Have you ever watched a live sex show? No I have not.
57. Have you ever used toys during sex? Hells yes.
58. Have you ever used sex toys on your own? Sir is my friend.
59. Have you ever used another object that wasn't really a toy during sex? Nah, don't think so...
60. Have you ever used another object that wasn't really a toy on your own? Um, don't think so...
61. How do you feel about talking during sex? Gots to talk during sex. I'm very vocal and I expect my partner to be also.
62. Are you usually loud during sex? Yes. Preferrably. I don't get off as well when I have to be quiet.
63. Have you ever woken up somebody else in the same house while having sex? Heh... Yeah...
64. Have you ever had complaints from the neighbors about your noise during sex? Kinda. Complicated situation.
65. Have you ever been given open praise for your sexual technique? Yes I have. w00t!
66. Have you thought about other people during sex? Do you still? No!
67. Have you ever called out someone else's name during sex? Haha! NO!
68. Have you ever had sex in a car? Mmmhmm... Fucking difficult.
69. If so, was the car moving? I've given head while the car was moving and have been fingered, but I've never had PIV sex while a car was moving.
70. Have you ever had sex in the water (pool, ocean, etc.)? Nope. Never.
71. Have you ever had sex in the shower? Just oral. No PIV.
73. Have you ever had sex at work or school? Nope, but I want to.
74. Do you ever roleplay in the bedroom? Yeah, kinda.

MORE HAVE YOU EVERS
75. Have you ever used food for sexual purposes? Nah. Not my thing.
76. Have you ever had a threesome or any sort of group sex? I've made out with two people at once, but that's all.
77. Have you ever had sex with more than one person during a 24-hour period but not at the same time? No.
78. Have you ever messed around with other people in the room? Haha... Yeah... Lots...
79. Have you ever been caught masturbating? No.
80. Have you ever caught anyone else masturbating? Yes.
81. Have you ever been caught having sex? Not openly.
82. Have you ever caught anyone else having sex? Nah.
85. Have you ever watched anyone have sex (whether they knew or not)? Nope.
86. Has anyone ever watched you having sex? Not that I know of.
88. Have you ever French kissed anyone of the same sex? Yes.
89. Have you ever had a sexual experience with someone of the same sex? Yes.
90. Have you ever had sex with two people in the same family? No.
91. Have you ever had sex with someone related to you? Hell no.
92. Have you ever had sex with someone much older than you? Nope. I think it'd be fun though.
93. Have you ever had pains as a result of sexual acts? I'm a masochist, so yes.
94. Have you ever fallen asleep during sex? Hell no. Haha.
95. Have you ever answered the phone while you were having sex and kept going? Ha, yeah, lots of times.
96. Have you ever let anyone watch you piss or shit? No...

AND FINALLY
97. Describe your worst sexual experience: Um, my ex-boyfriend decided he was going to stop showering, but still wanted to fuck me and with continuous badgering I'd give in. Just imagine someone with intense body odor on top of you for 30+ minutes. Not fun at all. And he's uncircumsized...
98. Describe your best sexual experience: Oh wow... Um, that I really don't know. It's hard to narrow it down to one.
99. Describe your biggest fantasy: Being completely taken advantage of. Almost raped (can't rape the willing). Being forced into submission.
100. And finally, what's the kinkiest thing you've ever done? Tried some bondage... I want to get a lot more kinkier than that though.

OPTIONAL OFFENSIVE QUESTIONS:
8* Have you ever used a cucumber up your ass? What?! No!
9* Have you ever let someone lick your ass? Mmmhmm...
10* Have you ever licked someone's ass, or kissed someone's ass? Not that I can remember off the top of my head at 4:07AM.
51* Have you ever given someone a blowjob while you were pissing in the toilet? WTF? I'm kinky, but not that freaky...
52* What is the filthiest thing you can imagine yourself doing? Um, depends on your definition of filthy...

Well, that was fun. Perhaps I can sleep now...

Fantasy #2

2005-06-03T22:58:49Z

Fantasy #2

Today, I know, is going to be a trial. Today, I know, you're going to test me, to see how long I can go without breaking. No matter how much I try to prepare myself I know there is no use because I have no idea what is in store for me.

Being completely submissive to you is new and yet so natural. I'm still learning my limits, as are you, and that makes it all the more sweet. We are learning together - becoming beyond satisfied with our bodies, capabilities, and sexuality. I don't believe I've ever had this much fun learning before.

As I sit brushing my hair in nothing more than my panties and bra thinking about what awaits me today you enter the room. I love when you first come home. You smell of a world I have no part of - a working world, where people spend their days speaking business and negotiating deals, making the world go 'round. I love this smell. And I love it more when you've been working on the car and you stink of grease, oil, and sweat. That's my favorite.

"Hello baby girl," you say as you plant a sweet kiss on my mouth and I smile at myself for thinking so much about the way you smell. What a silly thing to think about, but if it's so silly why are my panties damp?

I watch eagerly as you take off your shirt and then your shoes and get up to sit on the edge of the bed with you. I have never seen a man more beautiful than you. I love every aspect of your body and the way you move. The way you walk, the shine of your hair, your bright eyes. Who'd have known that I could get so turned on from across the room just watching you.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, you come to me, stroke my hair, and say, "Have you been waiting for me?" You glance down and can see the moisture that is quickly soaking through the thin cotton of my underwear. You run a finger over them, feeling for yourself how wet you can make me without even so much as a touch. With that simple caress we both know that I belong to you and we smile.

The kisses you bless me with are heaven. I can never get enough of your tongue, your lips, your taste. I could spend the rest of my life in a kiss with you and be joyful. You know exactly how to take my bottom lip into your mouth and nibble and how to swirl your tongue along mine so that chills run over my entire body and I can't help but sigh. Your kisses bring a great sense of peace and happiness to my heart. A feeling I've never known till you.

That's why it's okay for you to own me. It makes it all right for you to use me for your pleasure because it pleases me to please you. I know that our love is strong and real, no matter how much I hurt for you. I know that my pain is love. It's the ultimate kind of love.

With my mouth engulfed in yours you wrap me in your arms and unhook my bra, letting my breasts fall naked before you. The cool air against my skin feels wonderful, my nipples hard from both the chill and my own inside heat. You cup me in your hands, feeling every inch of my flesh, loving my curves.

Countering your soft touch, you take my nipple between your thumb and forefinger and twist. Hard. I wince and let out a whimper. You look me in my eyes and say, "Yes, baby girl, let yourself feel the pain as well as the pleasure," and twist again, this time both nipples at the same time.

My breath begins to quicken because I know that it's starting. My test. I'm excited and in love and scared all at the same time. Such a mix of emotions that I am nearly dizzy. You kiss me deeply again and press against my naked form. I can feel your cock hard against my belly already wishing to be inside me penetrating my walls and opening me. Making me yours.

SLAP! You hit my right breast with the palm of your hand and then again and again a series of times on each breast. My chest is heaving with my frantic breathing and this drives you wild. You slap me again and look at my face, waiting to see if I signal that I've already had enough. I can't help but smile. Silly boy, of course I haven't had enough. You return my smile and lean down, take my right breast into your hand, suck my nipple into your mouth and bite. Not especially hard, just enough to remind me that you're in control and inevitably you decide when I've had enough.

"I want to lick you now, but first we have some business to take care of," you say as you go over to the dresser and pull out some soft nylon rope and some soft silk ribbons. My eyes widen at the sight of all you have planned and you smile at my slyly, "You are my toy aren't you beautiful? You're mine. All mine, and I'm going to prove that once and for all."

You grab the chair that goes to my vanity and swing it around in front of you. You point at it and raise your eyebrows, so I obediently get up and sit on the chair. You kneel in front of me and spread my legs. Using the rope you tie my ankles to the chair's legs making sure that it's not too tight. Then you move around behind me, take my wrists, and tie them together behind the chair. My heart is racing with anticipation.

Once I'm completely bound, you take the ribbon and wrap it around me and then tie my titties - wrapping the silk around and around until it's nice and tight making my tits pop from my chest, my nipples rock hard. Watching and feeling you making me completely vulnerable to your wants and needs has made my pussy so wet it starts to run down and gather on the seat of the chair. You notice and dip your finger into the pool and then inside my throbbing slit only to bring it to my mouth and let me suck my wetness from your finger.

Then, standing before me, my breasts starting to throb from the lack of circulation, you remove your pants and boxers revealing your glorious cock and I can't help but lick my lips in anticipation. I watch as you stroke yourself and kneel in front of me and start ravaging my pussy with your tongue. I can do nothing but lean my head back and moan. With your free hand you finger fuck me and twist my clit, my wetness dripping. You remove your hand and again begin to lick me running your tongue over my swollen lips and every so often dipping inside me tasting me. Then, while sucking forcefully on my clit, nearly sending me over the edge you slide a finger, well lubricated by my own pussy, deep within my ass.

"Please... Can I come?" I ask between breaths hoping so very much that you'll allow me sweet release, but knowing very well that you won't.

"Quiet, slut," you say and dive back into my soaking cunt having your fill of my womanliness. Your tongue reaching deep within me, your teeth nibbling my lips and my clit. The smooth skin of my pussy is swollen with desire and your finger continues to probe my asshole sending waves of heat throughout my entire body, "You want me inside you don't you bitch? You want my cock to rape you. To rob you of all your innocence and make you mine. Don't you? Look at those pink pussy lips, just quivering for me. Begging me to fuck you."

"Yes, rape me. I am yours. Use me," I say as I try to move my arms from my restraints to hold your gorgeous hair as you eat me, but I can't free myself. I moan loudly as you remove your finger from my ass and stand before me touching yourself. You know I love to watch you stroke your cock, especially when I can do nothing but watch, when I can't join in. I watch as your hand move up and down, the head of your cock throbbing, dying to penetrate me.

You lean down and kiss me. I can taste myself on your tongue. It drives me wild.

"Suck me," you say and you wrap your fingers inside my hair and push my head towards your cock. Eagerly I take you in licking your head and reveling in the way you taste and smell. Sucking your cock is my favorite thing, such a pleasure to feel you throb inside my throat, an honor to swallow your come. Hungrily, I take you deep within my throat as you force my head down deep on you, restricting my breathing, gagging me. The tears well in my eyes as you let me come up a little and then cram my throat back around you. My tongue massages your shaft as my throat contracts around your head. I love taking it do deep. When you violate my mouth this way.

You pull out and move my head down to your balls. I take one in my mouth sucking lightly, hearing you moan. I love it when you're vocal. Tonguing your balls and sucking on each one gently I hum softly sending the vibrations deep within you.

Again you force yourself into my mouth sending your heat down my throat. My tits are numb from the lack of circulation, but I can still feel you squeezing and rubbing them. Toying with my sensitive nipples, pinching, pulling, yanking all while I'm devouring your delicious cock. I hear you moan and I feel you start to throb in my mouth, I know you're about to give me the best gift of all.

You explode in my mouth while pulling hard on my nipple, sending your hot, tasty come down my throat. Letting me taste you. I swallow you eagerly and continue to suck until I know you've completely emptied into me and I can have no more, no matter how much I want it.

You slap my tit and pull your cock from my craving mouth, "You love to taste my come don't you slut?"

I nod as I lick my lips clean. I don't want to waste a drop. You move around and untie my breasts, letting them fall back down. The heat from the rush of blood hurts like hell and I wince and yelp a little. You get down on your knees in front of me and shove 3 fingers deep inside me and take my nipple into your mouth sucking hard. You still won't allow me to come and the strain of holding it back is becoming too much.

"Please, please can I come? It's killing me!" I say to you with tears welling in my eyes.

Laughing you say, with my nipple still in your mouth, "I let you swallow me. You should be thankful for that. I'll let you know if I want you to come. Don't ask me again. I've already given you one privilege tonight."

You remove your fingers from me and start to untie my ankles. You lift me off the chair and my arms, still tied, fall against my bare back. You throw me over your shoulder and take me to the bed where you promptly throw me down and tell me to get on my knees and stick my ass in the air. It's hard, but I manage to roll over and position my hot, dripping pussy just as you commanded.

Before I even have a chance to get my bearings your cock starts pounding my pussy, hard. My arms are still tied behind my back, my face is buried in a pillow my screams muffled.

"I want to hear you bitch," you say as you yank my head up from the pillow by my hair and I scream your name. "Yes you fucking slut. Who owns you? Who's pussy is this?!"

"YOURS! IT'S YOUR PUSSY! YOU OWN ME!" I scream as I try my damnedest not to come. You can feel my pussy and my entire body tensing up to try to stave it off.

"Come for me now bitch. NOW!"

As soon as you say that my pussy explodes and I scream louder than I knew I could. My walls gripping you, squeezing you sending you to the edge. You pull out of me and bust your load all over my ass, shooting your hot, tasty come all over my ass cheeks.

You push me over so that I fall onto my side and you climb up next to me on the bed. You kiss me softly and tell me what a good girl I'd been, "You passed little one. You passed the test. You're such a good little slut."

"Thank you gorgeous," I say and you untie my wrists. Before you're even done I'm fast asleep dreaming about being your slave again in a few hours.

- R.F.Prince
June 3, 2005

Fantasy #1

2005-06-03T06:45:12Z

Fantasy #1

I am fast asleep in a mid-day nap when I feel you. I know instantly what you want. Your hand slides down my stomach and beneath my panties. I shiver as your middle finger begins to massage my clit. Now aware that I'm awaking, you chuckle lightly and ask me, "Does that feel good beautiful?"

"Mmm hmm..." I moan as one finger slides quickly inside my already dripping slit.

"Kiss me," you command. You lean down and press your amazing lips against mine. Slowly I open my mouth and quickly you slip your tongue in caressing mine and sending chills up my spine. I can never get enough of your kisses.

With your lips still pressed against mine you say, "Now, sit up, you're going to be my slut now, aren't you?" You slip two more fingers inside me and push hard, letting me know that you're in control - that you've got the power.

I love being your slut, just the thought sends waves of heat over my body and makes my tender pussy throb. I take off my shirt and slide my panties down allowing you full access to my cunt.

"Yes sir..." I manage to say through fits of ecstasy as your fingers reach inside me, tickling all the right spots to make me moan. You've got 2 fingers in me now as you slide one out and start fondling my asshole, waiting for the perfect time to penetrate me. I get nervous when I feel your finger there and I tense up.

"No, baby girl, don't tense like that. I don't like that," you say to me, and start to dip your finger inside my tight, hot ass. I tense again, not really meaning to, and I know as soon as I see the look on your face that I did wrong. Quickly, forcefully, you shove your whole finger into my asshole.

The breath catches in my throat as I feel a mixture of intense pleasure with pain. Just as I begin to make a noise you take my throat in your free hand and squeeze.

"No! I thought this was going to be easy, but clearly you don't want to cooperate with me. That's okay, go ahead and fight. It only fuels me," you snarl at me as you pump my ass and pussy hard, "Do you understand what I'm telling you slut? You're going to do as I say, exactly as I say, or you'll have hell to pay. Do you understand?"

Your grip is so tight on my throat and the finger fucking your giving me below is so intense that I'm only able to gasp out a whispery, "Yes!"

"Louder slut!" Your grip tightens even more.

"YES!" I manage to say and you remove your hand from my throat. As I'm gasping trying to catch my breath you yank your hand from my ass, making me scream, and flip me over so fast I can barely tell what happened.

"Now, I want you to get on all fours and grip the posts of the bed. Do NOT let go unless I tell you to, do you understand me?" You order as you pull my legs apart to just the angle you want. "I don't want you to yell out or let go of those posts for any reason whatsoever, got it bitch?"

"Y-yes sir," I stutter and grab the posts on the headboard. I can't help but be frightened by you, even though I know you love me. The fear only adds to the fire burning in my crotch. I love it when I don't know what to expect, or what awaits me when I'm in your hands.

As soon as you see that my hands are gripping the posts, you slap my right ass cheek. I let out a little yelp and I hear you tisk me.

"No little one, I told you, no sounds."

Again you lay your hand across my ass. You wait for me to make a sound and when I don't you do the same to the left side. Each cheek you slap 5 or 6 times until I'm a nice rosy pink and my thighs begin to tremble. My ass is burning from your heavy hand, so I welcome it when you plant soft, warm kisses first on the left, then the right.

The heat I feel inside is now at full blast. I can think of nothing but sweet release. I'm nearly overjoyed when you begin to lick my lips and my clit. Slowly penetrating me with your tongue teasing me, bringing me close to the brim and then turning down the fire, like a pot of boiling water. You slide your thumb into my asshole opening me for the ramming I know is coming.

Trying to stifle my moans is becoming more and more hard, so you say to me, "Now, slut, now you can moan for me."

From somewhere inside of me, a deep deep place within my body, comes a moan of pure pleasure that makes you slide your index finger into my asshole instead of your thumb. Deeply you probe me, feeling all the curves and crevices.

Holding onto the posts has gotten hard. My arms begin to shake and my right hand falls onto the mattress. As soon as it hits I realize and snap it back up hoping you didn't see my failure, but I'm too late.

"Ooh, slut, I saw that. Now you're just going to have to take this assfucking now when you're still tight. Should have listened to me. Let go of the bars and move to the edge of the bed. Now."

"But, but I'm not ready... Please... I'm sorry, I really am..." I try to get out of what I know is inevitable.

You just shake your head, grab me by the ankles, and turn me around abruptly so that I'm basically bent over the edge of the bed. I can feel you jacking off while you play with my asshole a little bit more, readying yourself, enjoying the thought of taking this from me. You slap my ass and my thighs leaving red hand prints, marking what's yours.

I let out little yelps each time you lay your hand across my flesh and I can feel the tears welling in my eyes. I know that you love me, and there isn't anyone else in the world I'd rather fuck me this way, but I'm angry at myself for having disappointed you. And I'm scared.

"Alright, here it comes bitch. You'd better relax..." You say as you begin to slide your throbbing cock into my ass. The pain is searing as your head penetrates me. Now I'm crying, letting the tears fall from my eyes onto the mattress as you moan and push deeper into me, making me take all of you in.

After the initial penetration, the pain begins to subside and you slowly start pumping into my ass. I can feel your balls press up against my cunt as you slide in and out of my tight ass going deeper and deeper with each thrust. Before I know it, the pain is replaced by intense pleasure and it's all I can do to keep from coming right there.

I try to reach under and play with my clit and you say between moans, "What do you think you're doing? Do you want to come slut?" Your cock reaches deeper hitting a g-spot I didn't even know I had.

I let out a load moan and say, "Yes sir, please, may I come?"

"No, you wait until I tell you. Keep playing with that dirty pussy of yours, but don't you come. Not until I say."

You start pounding my ass harder and harder as I finger myself and pinch my clit letting the heat rise and fall trying to stave off my orgasm. I can feel your cock starting to throb and I can tell you're about to come.

"Turn around here bitch and finish me," you say as you pull your cock from my ass. Obediently I turn around and take your cock in my hand and start to stroke it. "No goddamnit, suck it clean," you say as you grip the hair on the back of my head and force yourself into my hot mouth.

I take you deep down my throat sucking hard, taking my time because there's nothing I love more than having you in my mouth. You push my head deep onto you, gagging the back of my throat. Sending me so deep I can feel your balls against my chin. You reach around and pull hard on my clit and then my nipple. You slap my tit, wait a few seconds, then slap the other. Again you pinch my nipple, twisting it, making it tender and purple.

Just then you yank away from me and come all over my chest and into my mouth. I swallow you eagerly and take the head of your cock into my mouth to suck the rest of it off. I don't want to waste.

You see me still touching myself and you move my hand and penetrate me with three fingers. "Come for me now baby girl."

You pump fast and hard with your fingers rubbing right at the top where you know I love. The waves come over me and I come on your hand squeezing your fingers, not wanting to let you go. The orgasm is strong. It makes every muscle in my body contract and literally takes my breath away.

I fall back, with your juice all over my chest, in a heap of exhaustion and satisfaction. You give me a kiss and say, "You were a good girl. A beautiful girl. I love you. Now, let's go shower." I sit back up and I can tell that my ass is going to be sore tomorrow. I can't help but smile.

- RFP
June 3, 2005

Introduction & Explaination

2005-05-28T03:11:15Z

Hello! You're quite the lucky one to have found this journal, but I need to state some ground rules. First of all, if you're freaked out by blantant sexual content and things such as bondage, D/s realtionships, BDSM, and other things of that sort this isn't the place for you. Also, if you're underage you should probably go watch some Nicktoons or something and leave this page in the dust.

There, now that's out of the way I can move on to tell you why this DeadJournal was created. Well, my name is Roxie and I am 20 years old. I have for as long as I can remember been turned on by the idea of being taken, used, tied up, dominated, and even raped. I've never been able to let these fantasies out because things like that aren't generally accepted by society as I'm sure you're aware, and I've never had the courage to tell either of my partners of my desires either.

Finally, I've decided that it's high time I let these things out and feel the pleasure I've always denied myself.

In case I have to clarify this I'm going to say it now - it is possible to have a healthy, loving relationship as a Submissive. There are people who choose to live their entire lives in a D/s relationship meaning that they live to serve their "Master" or whatever name they choose to call their partner by. They are not only dominated in the bedroom, but in everyday life as well. I myself, do not choose to do that. I am probably more "vanilla" than most people interested in BDSM.

I am not really sure what all I like and don't like seeing as this is my first time expressing the desire to be dominated and controlled. I know very well that I don't want my everyday life controlled, but what happens in the bedroom is a completely different thing.

For more information on BDSM please check out these great sites. Especially if you're interested as well and have never tried it. Safety is of the utmost importance.

http://www.castlerealm.com - A great BDSM resource site for anything and everything.
http://www.exalte.com/SexToysArticle/112 - A well written article on BDSM safety.
http://members.fortunecity.com/chezmoi/vtrt.html - Another well done page on safety.
http://blood-dance.net/bdsm/beginners.html - What is BDSM about, safety, "must haves" for a successful D/s relationship.
http://www.vanilla-not.com/basics/ - Another excellent site covering a wide range of topics.

Also, there is a huge difference between abuse and a D/s relationship. I want to make this extremely clear. For more information about the difference, please check out the following site because they say it a lot better than I ever could.

http://www.io.com/~ambrosio/abuse/ - BDSM v.s. Abuse, the Difference between BDSM and Abuse, including Abuse in BDSM and Recognizing the Signs of Abuse

[All links stolen from the LiveJournal community fem_submissives.]

I have yet to completely reveal my fantasies to my boyfriend, but after knowing him for 6 years and being together for the better part of that I know his habits and most of his desires and I suspect he is all for this type of thing. I just want to make clear with myself what I like and don't like before bringing it up with him.

So yes, with all of that said, let's start experimenting shall we?

[All stories, poems, or other written works here are written and copywrited by me (R. F. Prince) unless otherwise noted. Please don't steal my work.]